Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My Daughter

I have a confession...

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would have a daughter. Maybe it was because I felt doomed to be surrounded by boys after my childhood with 2 brothers, longing for a sister. Or it could be that, before we got married, my husband flat out said to me, "I don't make girls", and for some reason, I believed him. I just thought that my life was destined to be filled with sports, and trains, and spills and stains.

I knew that Chelsea was a girl the day I found out that I was pregnant. Just instinct, I guess. The day that we found she was a girl, I cried. Even though I already knew. With her gender confirmed, I began to think "what do I do with a girl?" All I know is this little man and I am quite comfortable with being a mom to a boy.

My friends comforted me in saying, "it will be fine because you're a girl". Of course I know what girls are like and I am super excited to shop for cute clothes and have a tiny person look like she is listening to me when I speak.

As I we get closer and closer to our due date, I am getting more and more nervous. Will I ever get the hang of wiping front to back? Will I be able to tolerate all the bows and dresses? Will we have a good relationship? Will I be able to set my emotions aside when she is emotional? I was a Daddy's girl and I'm sure she will be too. Will I be able to handle watching her bond with her Daddy without feeling heart broken that mine is gone?

My brain is just running wild with anxieties over bringing Chelsea into the world! I know that it will all come naturally and a year from now I will no longer feel like a boy's mom but, a mom to 'The Boy' and 'The Lady' and it will feel as though that were the way it always was.

Thank you, God for blessing me with one of each. Even though she isn't here, I feel as though my family is complete. I can't wait to meet you little girl!

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